I'm a WHAT?
by Bored Konoha Kunoichi
Summary: oneshot.SasuSaku. "Then there's the vampire fic, where Sakura is taken as vampire Sasuke's mate..""...""Suuuure you're not perverted, Sakura..." AU generalization


**A/N**: Hi, everyone!! Sorry that I haven't updated in a while- I was very busy...I visited Boston this week, left at 4 in the afternoon, came back at 1 at night, stayed up 'til like, 3 doing homework, and so on...and besides that, just lost inspiration for a while. But yeah, here it is now!!

Also, this is NOT an exact sequel to **Which one's my future self?**- meaning you don't need to read the other story to understand this story.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT own Naruto!! I'm a **Korean **_GIRL, _thank you very much, not a Japanese man with boundless creativity and awesome art skills...which I do not posess either of. (Though I REALLY wish I owned a Sakura and a Sasuke plushie- so I can put them next to each other to relieve my SasuSaku hunger)

**Warning:** I'm NOT American, so expect grammer and spelling mistakes- I can't help it, okay? And no, I believe this one does not contain any "foul inappropriate language" a.k.a. cussing, but just a it of er, "hints"...-wink wink-

To my Dear friend Natalie who might be reading this because she has no life at the moment- NO I am NOT perverted...GOT IT?! Just enjoy the story...cause HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GAL!!! And I hope you finally get in touch with your feminine side...you should learn how to from Sakura!! lol, j/kj/k

Now on with the story/ drabble thing!!_

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Talking- _Sakura Speaking

**Talking- **Sasuke Speaking

-action- obviously, it's action

_Hi, everyone! Yes, it's me, Sakura again. I apologize for the…-blush- sudden ratings change towards the end last time, but I swear that's not going to happen this time! And, today I'm talking about AU fics, and, -pauses, closes her eyes in concentration- -sigh-_ _Sasuke-kun, I know you're there, not get out of that tree._

**-jumps down- Hn. You've improved.**

_No, really, Sasuke-kun? Would you like me to demonstrate my improvement by making craters? –smiles sweetly-_

-**shudders- …I'll pass.**

_-grins- that's more like it. Now anyways, I've been browsing once again, because I had a day off. Then something else besides future fics came into my view- AU fics. _

**Ah, I believe there are greater numbers of AU fics then canon fics or future fics. **

_-frowns- Sasuke-kun! Don't steal my lines! This is my rant! What are you doing here anyways? _

**Why the sudden interest now, instead of attacking me right away?**

_-glares- because I didn't want the readers to get bored, you idiot!! Now tell me before I BEAT the answers out of you!!_

**-sigh- impatient as always…fine, I'm here because I have some opinions and generalizations about AU fics, also…**

_-glare- you've been reading MORE fanfiction?!?!?! You're supposed to be on your way to kill that excuse-of-a-brother weasel thing, so you can get your stupid revenge and come back to Konoha!! You don't have the pedophile chaining you anymore, that you had to read fanfiction when you couldn't train, so EXPLAIN! _

…**I read them **_**before**_** I got rid of Orochimaru…and read a bit when Hebi stopped at a town…**

_-sigh-whatever…you don't lack hatred, you lack inspiration and your laziness holds you back…_

**-DEATH GLARE-**

_So, back to the point. I've some across some very many interesting fics .one of the most popular ones are High School fics,_

**Office fics, meaning the characters, or we, are employees at a company,**

_then there are Kingdom style, with characters as kings and queens,_

-**smirk- then finally vampire fics…**

_The first we'll be discussing to day it…HIGH SCHOOL FICS!!_

**Ah. Those. I remember those. **

_Yeah…high school fics are probably the most common AU fics in the Naruto section!_

**Hn. It's so common now…if it's written with an interesting plot with ironies, it's readable. Other wise, too cliché or choppy.**

_-nudges Sasuke in the side- -whispers- don't get the readers angry!! Sorry guys, Sasuke-kun's being crappy today…really. Though I do agree some plots are usually the same, as well as character personalities. First, there's the shy, diffident Sakura that's like, the new student,_

**And there's the "genius" arrogant Sasuke that's athletic **_**and**_** smart as well as wealthy**,

_A strong-minded, independent and optimistic Sakura,_

**A "shy" Sasuke that falls in love with Sakura "like that", and tries to get near her, and so on,**

_the REALLY rebellious, wild Sakura that's basically a punk,_

**yeah, the same kind of aggressive, rebellious Sasuke,**

_the brainless, extroverted Sakura_,

**and we can't forget the movie star/ celebrities Sasuke**

_and Sakura, too. Wow, there's a lot._

**Hn. It's 'cause it's AU- there's no definite limitation to our personalities, meaning OOC and IC doesn't matter as much…**

_True, but a lot of plots are quite similar, you know… like I think one of the most common plot is among the lines of me being the new student, then I meet the REALLY arrogant Sasuke, instantly hate him, but blah, blah, blah, things happen, and BOOM, they end up with each other._

**Ah, then the one with the hesitant and "shy" Sasuke being friends with the optimistic Sakura, and ponders over **_**how**_** to "confess" to her…look, I get that it's AU, but I can't imagine MYSELF stuttering and confessing "romantically" –twitches- with candle light dinner and all…really.**

_-giggles- aw, Sasuke-kun, in fanfiction, the authors' got the power! And AU fics increase that power more, since ICness isn't required…I mean, TK (the author) can make us do anything right now, against our wills, and-_

**-eyes widens and puts hand on Sakura's mouth- -whispers- don't give her any **_**ideas!!**_** Er, Sakura didn't say anything a second ago, and no one heard it!!**

_-sweatdrops- I don't think that was necessary, Sasuke-kun…anyways, going on, there's the plot where either me, Sasuke, or both of us are SUPER STARS!!! Meaning that if only one of us is a celebrity, the other is the obsessive fan…or if it's both of us, we're usually competition, or just opposites that has to act together in a scene, and there goes the hate-then-love thing all over again…_

**-raises a brow- correction…it's usually ME who's the star, and you're the obsessive fangirl who tries so hard to reach ME, not the other way around…I'm the man, I don't "chase" girls.**

_-sighs- you and your big ego…fine, whatever, it's not ME who writes the fictions…And also, for high school fics, all of Rookie 9 and Team Gai's usually in the story, as well as minor pairings! So yeah, that pretty much covers the whole high school fics generally!!_ _Hey, Sasuke, what do you want to talk about next?_

**-frowns- what about the "kun"?**

_-tilts head- Huh? Sasuke, "kun" is NOT a kind of fanfic! I meant to choose from the AU ones we've listed!_

**-murmurs- stupid woman...**

_-glares- what'd you call me?!_

**Nothing…anyways, up next is the Office fics.**

_-smiles- Yeah, those are usually soo much fun to read! They usually take place when we're 25 or so, well, no duh, 'cause we can't really get a job 'til then,_

**No really, Sakura? Yes, a 16 year old got employed at a company.**

_-glares- funny, Sasuke. Somehow I don't find it that amusing. So, from what I've seen, one of the most popular Sakura is a clumsy, yet smart (?) Sakura who's the secretary,_

**with the arrogant, cold Sasuke who's the CEO of the company.**

_-scowls- you cut me off!! Again!! Grrr!!!_

**-totally ignores her- and usually, these fics include the whole crew once again, with usually Neji, Shikamaru and Naruto as the CEO's of other companies…and these could be any kinds of companies…**

_Yes, and I've seen these fashion companies, and in that case, some of the characters are models –smiles-_

**-glances- ah…you done brooding by yourself in the corner twitching?**

_-glares- apparently, yes. And also, I've seen fics with Sakura as a "spy" from a different company!! I've seen this one which Sakura's a spy, and her goal is to "seduce" Uchiha Sasuke, the CEO of Uchiha corps. Ooh, and office fics are funny when characters are a bit OOC and immature –giggles-_

**Ah, yes…stapler guns galore.**

_Uh-huh, and it'd be awesome if we had a stapler gun fight!! –grins-_

**-sweatdrops- ignoring the bizarre Sakura logic,**

_-frowns- hey!_

**-ignores her once again- next up there's the Kingdom style…which the name pretty much explains itself…hn.**

_-pokes Sasuke- well, you might as well explain it, because it may NOT be so-self-explanatory to some, Mr. I'm-An-Uchiha-And-Too-Good-For-You-To-Waste-Words-Now-Hear-Me-Roar. You're not fully staying on the topic._

**-arches a brow- -mutters- that was a mouth full…**

_And no, "Hn" does not count._

**Hn.**

_-growls- Argh, you're impossible. Readers, I apologize for Sasuke's emo attitude, and-_

**-glares- I am NOT emo**

_-shrugs- whatever, and Kingdom style basically means that the characters are placed in a Kingdom, or world, and they take roles such as queens, kings, knights, and so on. _

**One of the most common plots for us is me being a prince, and Sakura being a princess from different country, maybe a servant, or even a normal civilian that somehow meets me.**

_-gasp- He talks!! He lives!!_

**-glares- shut up.**

_-pouts- aw, you're no fun. Another common plot is me being a queen and Sasuke being a King, resulted by arranged marriage. And the whole story's basically Sasuke going "oh-I don't love you, it was for the country" then when a war or something happens he goes, "I'm oh-so-sad, I suddenly love you, Sakura" and so on…_

**Wow. Amusing.**

_Oh, and another popular plot is Sasuke being a prince or something, and me being maybe a geisha or slave from different country, er, "given as a gift" to Sasuke…-blushes-_

**-raises a brow- and you actually read these? Aren't those usually M-rated?**

_-looks away, blushes darker- I DID NOT read M-rated fics!! I just…came across…the first…few…chapters, THAT'S ALL!!_

**Whatever, Sakura. Admit it- you're a hentai. (pervert) Also, these plots just sound plain retarded…**

_-pinches him. HARD.- If you would stop ACTING emo, people wouldn't have so many difficulties writing romance fics for you!! It's hard to think of a good plot to keep you IC thanks to your personality!! Don't blame them!!_

**-winces- ow. That hurt. Besides, I never asked for them to write romance stories for me- I'm not THAT desperate with of the female species.**

_-raises brow- suuuuuuuuuuuure._

**-DEATH GLARE along with DAGGERS-**

_-laughs nervously- erm, going on, so lastly, we come to vampire fics!!!_

**Ah…those…I remember them…**

_-tilts head- Sasuke, it's quite amazing how a person's reactions can remain the same for distinctive topics…I mean, every time we switch topics, all you go is, "Ah…those…"!! I swear!!_

**And you tell me that I go off the subject…as for you "observation" it's because I have nothing better to say. Anyways, vampire fics obviously have the characters as vampires.**

_-sighs- fine…so yeah, for vampire fics, I found that a lot of stories either make all the characters vampires, or make most of the male characters vampires –cough- -sexist authors- -cough- and leaves Sakuras or Hinatas as humans._

**Vampire fics usually don't have definite plots that can be generalized- it varies greatly, but I guess a lot of the are "vampire wars" or "war between clans" and so on.**

_Continuing my topic, in fics where Sakuras are left humans, once again, she is like, kidnapped by vampire Sasukes due to er, "desires", and-_

**-scoffs- and you still say you're not perverted. You can't go in denial for long, Sakura.**

_-blushes- -glares- whatever, Sasuke, I know you read these also. I actually think that's all for vampire fics. Anything you'd like to add, Sasuke?_

**Hn.**

_-sighs- and I'll take that as a no. Okay, so yeah, we're not creative enough, nor do we have enough time to go into every single type of AU fics because-_

**obviously, they're AU, meaning their plots can be as creative as possible, which makes it impossible for us to generalize.**

_-gasps- You did NOT just cut me off, and-_

**-ignores her- So we just mentioned the four most common or popular in other words. Too bad if we didn't include everything. Use your imagination and pretend that it's there, 'k?**

_-gasps louder- -dark aura- Did you just cut me off?! Again?! Why I-_

**-oblivious- And I repeat, I don't care if it's AU- KEEP.ME.IC. And- …Sakura? –glances behind him-**

_-grins evilly- Sasuke…you dare to cut me off…you've ignored me enough today!! –holds up a stapler- Yes…staplers galore, Sasuke._

**-eyes widen- holy crap…**

_Hyaaaa!!!! –starts chasing after Sasuke shooting staples-_

**-Sasuke runs away- or tries, at least-**

**-Later that Day in the Hokage's Office-**

"Dammit, Shizune! These staplers are out of staples!! Could you get me some?" –Tsunade-

"Is it urgent, Tsunade-sama?" –Shizune-

"Hell yes, you're the one that wanted me to do paper work, and this one requires putting forms together!!" –Tsunade-

"Ern, Tsunade-sama, for some unknown reason, the whole staple supply in the storage room is empty! Someone must have taken them!" –Shizune-

"Really? Then could you go buy some, or go order some?" –Tsunade-

-slowly takes out hidden sake bottles from under the desk-

"Don't worry, Shizune, I'll be fine, you can take your sweet time!!" –Tsunade-

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A/N: Yes, just another random SasuSaku drabble once again...XD it is currently 12:25 at night, and I need to get up at 7 tomorrow (on a SATURDAY!!) to go somewhere...oh well 

If you didn't like the story, don't bother flaming- it's not worth your time writing, nor worth my time reading it, k? Just leave it be. Though _constuctive criticisms _are always welcome- so feel free to write those.

If you DID like the story (suprisingly) then don't be shy to click that li'l gray button and give me a feed back!!

**This Story was Dedicated to those who reviewed for Which one's my Future self? Thanks guys!!**

_Green pinguin Queen, alana 124pyro, Chidori no Tenshi, WingsRider, Laura-chan, CuteXHellishXGal, Quingle, kee-chan, 411ner, Torri-san, frumpyrox, TightropeDancing, kerapal bubbles, amanda, neon kun, ArigatoBlossom_

**-Hands Imaginary cookies to each person-**

-REVIEW or I'll send BLOOD-THIRSTY GAARA AFTER YOU!! (lol, j/k j/k..you get my point...)


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